Reflections Upon Sacrifice

A recent email from a friend in the Midwest made reference to sacrifice and once again triggered my reflection upon the subject. She spoke of someone living more simply in more Spartan accommodations than their peers and how others remember the sacrifice with warm gratitude. In the situation she spoke about I am not sure that anyone in the family viewed it as a sacrifice.

In the Church we preach and encourage personal and corporate sacrifice. It is part of our worship language…and sometimes we move beyond encouraging to cajoling the faithful to sacrifice. I am fearful that we sometimes use the language of sacrifice to force someone to do something against their will and for our own selfish benefit of an individual or system. Use of sacrifice in such a manner is form of spiritual abuse. I am equally loathed when individuals speak of personal sacrifice as a means to draw attention in order to garner praise much like the donor in the temple who announced boldly the size of his gift.

Most people have a general sense of sacrifice. Functionally we use it to mean surrendering something you or I am reluctant to surrender, or doing something constantly that is contrary to one’s will. Hence, sacrifice becomes highly subjective.

I am not comfortable with such an understanding of sacrifice that is tied to closely to reluctance or doing something which imposes upon another because it can readily lead one into an abusive situation, spiritual or other. We need to encourage and challenge each other in the Church to move beyond our current state without force or coercion. A person who is forced or coerced into doing something is not sacrificing, they are being abused.

I believe that guilt is a divine gift to help us to be sensitive to God’s will and guidance, and to act as a guide, albeit flawed, as to what is right and wrong. Yet guilt when inappropriately used, even if well intended, to manipulate and control another taints a divine gift. Guilt and encouragement need to be used within the bounds of still maintaining the ability of the other to retain full free will.

I have come to view sacrifice as doing something or giving up something willingly. Free will surrendering is the key for when it is done willingly, and sometimes with little thought, it is more often than not accompanied by spiritual joy and peace. From the perspective of others it can appear to be a sacrifice but for the one doing the act, they may well be oblivious to the sacrifice and view it as just as something that needs to be done. They are not just willing to do it, they are happy to do it. Hence, in the sacrifice that others recognize is found joy and peace in the contentment.