We Have a Crossman

As you will see from the title, “We Have a Crossman”, Josh in his first year of eligibility made the Crossmen which is a drum corps based out of San Antonio. Though in the final round of cuts there were 26 baritones going after 20 positions, 12 of the positions were filled by Crossmen veterans.

As I post this Sunday evening Joshua is sitting at the Dallas airport on his return trip from San Antonia. His return trip has had two glitches. The original flight was cancelled and he was put on a later flight bound for Dallas. Then the connecting flight left Denver for Dallas an hour and half late and with another delay the flight departed nearly two and half hours late. Hence, Josh's flight will get into Washington a little before 2 AM and home around 2:30 AM. Fortunately, he does not have school tomorrow.

When he returned in December Josh felt he was on the bubble. The first few days back he considered not attending the January final audition. Three days later he reasoned that if he did not see it through to the end, he would forever wonder if he would have made it.

With the Crossmen, as with other areas with life choices we give Josh latitude in making decisions. As our children have grown, Evie and I have encouraged them to examine options, openly weigh the pros and cons, and put forward their position in a cogent manner. Though we hope that they will note Mom and Dad’s thoughts and experience, they often do not do so. There are times when they have ignored Mom and Dad’s perspectives. In such moments we remind ourselves that disregarding parents from time to time is part of the process of them expressing independence, and particularly from Dad, as they are males.

With the Crossmen, I am proud of Josh for deciding to go to the January rehearsal and seeing it to the end. Even if had not made it, I am proud of the balanced approach and work ethic he has taken. With courage, he moved forward knowing that he may fall short of his goals. I am proud that he made the Corps, but I have greater pride in giving it the effort. My kudos go to Josh.

When one’s child comes up against a disappointment, whether it is a grade in class or not making a group or falling short on something else, there is sadness in the souls of the child and parents. The question I ask Josh, whether it was with the Crossmen, his school class or after his district band audition, “Did you give your best?” Whether it is Jonathan or Joshua, I want them to give their best with their entire being and to have made judicious decisions and preparation leading up to the moment.

Disappointments are part of life. Not everyone can make the team or has the skills/knowledge sets to achieve the desired goal. Though part of me has always hoped that my children will always make the group, achieve the straight “A”s, be in the top chairs, etc., such hopes are unrealistic. I want them to give their best.

Failures and disappointments are part of life. I appreciate such opportunities for my children to experience them. Handling disappointments as well as successes positively helps prepare our children for adulthood. Skill and knowledge is relatively easy to learn. Developing analytical ability, quality character, compassionate love and faith is at the heart of a parent’s primary responsibility. In these matters, Josh, just like his brother is making Evie and me proud.

Congratulations Josh. Your parents are proud not only for making the Crossmen but for the decisions you have made along the way.