The Tether

Helping Josh to settle in at LSU was somewhat of difficult process for me. Over the summer I checked his emails twice, sometimes thrice, a week for information he might need to note before arriving. I was concerned about a host of details and “what if’s”. Most of the “what if’s” were not an ultimate concern but still they were still there. Evie and I packed more of his clothing than necessary into the RV. When we did last minute shopping in Baton Rouge I kept asking about this item or that item.

I wanted to make sure that everything was in place, that as much as possible all “i”s were dotted and “t”s crossed before we left. I said to Evie that if he was going to Virginia Tech or James Madison or even West Virginia I may not be as concerned. If we forgot something we could easily get it to him within a few hours drive, but LSU is another matter as it is well over 18 hours away. If he is sick, we cannot get there in a few hours. As a father I had to have the comfort in my own mind and heart that all was okay before leaving.

When we left Josh on the Saturday night, Evie and I walked hand in hand with tears welling in her eyes and me trying to keep tears from even forming. On one level we were ready for the day but on another we were not ready for our baby to be out of the nest. Each step we took to the camper, each mile we headed away from LSU was a mile that distanced Josh from us and told us that our son was on his own.

We privately reflected back upon our days and wondered what our parents went through to leave us behind at Asbury. In a fresh way I suspected that my parents experienced some of the same feelings. In a fresh way, I found myself having a greater appreciation for my parents for if they had the same heavy heart and angst they did not let their concerns overshadow my joy of venturing out from the nest.

I know that from time to time Josh reads his parents' blogs. To him I give a long distant hug and my love. I am proud of Josh. I am proud of what he has accomplished and the man into which he is grown. I am proud of his strong independence streak and his bucking heads with his father at various points. I am proud that he thinks he is fine and all will be well. Yet, I am still his father and there is still part of me what wants to have him tethered to me even if it is by a thin string for that string serves as part of my security blanket. Part of that string is the anticipation of hearing his voice two or three times a week over the cell or getting an email. As time goes on my heart will become more settled as my pride and respect for Josh as a man continues to grow.

Tomorrow post I will post LSU-2 (see LSU-1 below if you missed it). In that post will be pictures of Josh before his dorm and in his room. The room is Spartan to say the least, and small when you consider three men will occupy it.