Two Divided By Love

This is my second post of the day, but one that I had to just get out. So do not miss looking at the earlier one too.

This last week as I drove back from Tidewater I listened to Grass Roots’ “Two Divided By Love”. Though I listened to the song many a time, this time I found myself disagreeing with its basic message, “Two divided by love can only be one. One is a lonely number.” What a sad statement about love and the uniting of two lives. Love does not divide, it unites. It is distorted love and jealousy that divides.

When a man and woman unit, two separate lives merge to be one. Each brings his or her own dreams and desires into the relationship. Each brings their personality quirks, insecurities, abilities, values and believes into a united relationship. I do not think that one should not become subservient to the other. Rather it is a mutual yielding to the other and often done without realizing that one is yielding to the other. Their lives blend and over time they grow so that in many ways their values and views while differing at points will be so similar at so many other ways.

I only have to look at my own love relationship with my best friend and soul mate to see the sadness of the song and how the writer is so wrong about love. Yes, in love two lives become one, and while on paper one is a lonely number it is far from being a lonely number within the context of a dynamic and loving relationship. Loneliness is found in being apart. Loneliness is found when one is on a business trip and the other is not there to share in the sights. Loneliness is found in not having the other present to share frustrations and joys, to hold hands and to cuddle.

Evie and I only dated face to face for three weeks before the conclusion of the academic year separated us for the summer. We did talk about writing each other every day over the three months, but each of us had already three or four letters in the mail before the first was received by the other…and each of us had coded the outside of the letters so that they would be read in sequence. Almost daily the letters continued to be generated and it was through them that we learned of and came to appreciate each other’s feelings, desires and dreams. It seemed so natural that within three weeks of being back for the new academic year that we were engaged.

There were some who thought, boy she is too young to get married. And there were many more who thought that the length of time we dated before becoming engaged was way too short.

There were some, including ourselves, who thought we should wait until Evie graduated before getting married. We initially told our parents that we were looking at a June of ’81 or a November of ’80 wedding. Fortunately, my parents and Evie’s parents did not share that view and asked us “why not this June?” They had the wisdom to see the love that existed and knew that two hearts were united already in spirit and that they should not wait beyond that June to be married. I only hope that Evie and I will be able to show the same wisdom for Jonathan and Joshua when they fall in love and unite their hearts with a young lady. I also hope that we will have the wisdom to allow them their space so that their lives with their bride can be united as ours.

Two united by love can only be one. One is far from being a lonely number!